Day 69 - Value ON Friendship.

Can you put a value on friendship? Can friendships be judged on monetary terms? Enough debates have raged on the value of friendship and how much some few good friendships can contribute to ones life. But how does one judge a friendship? Or is there something called judging a friendship?

I know, I know......there will be many among you who will say that the moment you start judging a friendship in any manner, its no longer a friendship but a transaction. That's all good to say in philosophical terms but in reality we are judging each other at all times of life. So can this apply to friendships as well?

I'm speaking in circles now, so let me explain. The other day I was helping a colleague pick up some gift for her friend. And this is a very good close bestest friend of my colleague. So we are in a shop and I'm showing her some ideas.She looks at one, likes it, sees the price and says "Its too expensive". So I say but this is for your best friend, price should not come in between a gift that she would like. (Of course we are not talking about diamonds or Ferraris here). She looks at me and says "You are right. She's cheap and doesn't spend on me. That doesn't mean I should be" and she bought the gift.

But it got me thinking. Do we think of monetary gifts and values when we gift our friends? Are we calculating what they gave us when we step out to buy something for them? Should 'cost' come in between gifting to a friend?

The ideal answer is OF COURSE NOT (note the caps coz some of you will be shouting this answer). But I think that somewhere deep in the corners of our mind, we do that calculation. Without the conscious mind knowing we tend to gravitate towards the section of a store that matches our perception of the value we put on that friendship. When we pick up two contrasting gifts that we like for a friend, we tend to buy the one that matches our perception. Sometimes that could be an indicator of how much we value that friendship. Putting a value on friendship might lead us to ascertaining the value of that friendship to us.

I do that. On a regular basis there are some friends that I hold very very dear but I do pick up gifts that subconsciously match the value I have put on that friendship. For some friends cost is no bar, if I like the gift I pick it up. For some I delay the purchase of a particular gift coz I am still evaluating how important that friendship is to me. You would never know that if you saw me with them. I'm guilty.

Are you? Do you put a Value on Friendship that can tell you the Value of that friendship?