Day 76 - Are we really Thankful?

I was watching a program called 'Lift Kara De' a few hours back and saw something that got me thinking. First the program - its an interesting take on fan following of celebrities. As we know in India film is HUGE business and film stars are big celebrities with maniacal fan following. This program tries to identify the biggest fan for a particular star, narrows hundreds of applicants down to three, gives them a task and the winner of that gets to meet his/her celebrity. Pretty normal till now.

The twist comes in that for each celebrity the program also identifies a family in dire need of money. The amount of money that the fan earns in performing the task is multiplied by a factor of a few thousands to arrive at an amount that the celebrity hands over to this family in dire need. Thereby the program 'Life Kara De' i.e the celebrity and the fan lift the life of the family to a different height.

So what has all that got to do with this post?

On the episode that I was watching they showed a family of 5 - parents and 3 kids - living in poverty with mega problems. The father is a horse cart driver earning approx Rs 1000 a month. The mother was diagnosed with a tumor in her lower spine and is unable to walk. The youngest kid has a physical deformity, the middle child is just 6 years old but has become like a mother to the family while the eldest is a 11 year old boy who needs to work to support the family. The father is helpless even though he wants to send his kids to school. The family has stopped treatment for the mother since they don't even have money for food. The parents go hungry sometimes so that they can feed the kids. The father says he wants to cry when he sees his kids but who can he go to to cry and the mother says that she sometimes feels like taking all the kids and committing suicide. There are so many families like this in India.

As I watched this I looked around and wondered if I was thankful enough for what I had? I had no physical deformities that hampered my growth. I had a safe and secure childhood growing up. I got my complete education and my parents saw to it that I never felt a lack of money and had no responsibilities growing up. I got a good job and was able to earn fair amount of money. I have not had, by the Grace of God, to face a situation where making ends meet was an issue. My family's health is good. I have the ability to take care of my children right now. And my loved ones are around me.

Do I realise how lucky I am to have all this? I think in our daily lives and our own small problems we forget about the gift that we have been give. We take the fact that we can walk, talk, hear, see, run and use our hands for granted. We take the gift of our work and security of our earnings for granted. We take the presence of our loved ones and friends for granted. We take the food on our plate for granted. We watch a program like this, feel bad for them, happy for us and go back to taking things for granted the next minute.

I think its time we woke up to the fact that we are lucky and be thankful for all that we have.

On a separate note, the program and BigB combined to give the above family Rs 10 Lacs so that their worries may go away and they may live a happy life!

Be Thankful, people, that we do not need help like this! Be Thankful!

Day 75 - A Day for Everything

It was Valentine's Day on 14th Feb (obviously) and the whole world was agog with celebration. Newspapers, TV media, Flower shops, Gift shops, online shops and everyone else wanted a slice of this pie. Of course in addition to this were also the necessary 'evils' of organisations crying themselves hoarse that this is not our tradition, that we should not be celebrating this and that they would get any couples seen together on this day, married.

To find out what 'days' were coming up I did a quick search and realised that there is a day for Fathers, Mothers, In-Laws, Daughters, Friends, Bosses, Women and I'm sure many many more. It just takes one genius to come up with a day dedicated to someone and for the gifting and cards industry to popularise it and take it global. And then of course people or 'suckers' to like it, celebrate it and make a big thing out of it. Why do some people go all out to celebrate such 'days' while some others berate it and oppose it?

A strong faction of people are on the side that such 'days' are basically a consumerisation drive by large organisations to ensure that the people are buying some gifts or cards and running the industry. They claim that we really don't need such 'days' as we show our love everyday for the said people. A famous point is always made that we love our parents and siblings on a daily basis and hence don't really need a day to pronounce our love for them and definitely don't need cards, gifts and materialistic items to tell them that. BigB goes on record to say that he doesn't believe in stuff like Fathers Day and Mothers day because he loves them unconditionally and doesn't need a specific day to say that.

I beg to differ. I think we get caught up in our daily lives to such an extent that we usually forget to give credit to important people in our lives. Humans have a tendency of taking things for granted. Things that exist around us in perpetuity tend to be taken for granted by us. This includes friends, parents and siblings as well. We fight, shout, bicker and argue with them on a daily basis as part of our lives and assume that what we want they should do - in other words - we start expecting certain things and take them for granted. Very rarely do we tell them that we love them and that they matter to us. That under all the bickering and fighting is extreme love that we have for them.

As normal people we would probably not get an Oscar or a Grammy or a Filmfare award where we can pronounce our love for our family in front of millions of viewers. And that is why these 'days' are important. They remind us that in our daily lives we should take out some time to tell them that we love them and that they matter to us. While we get an opportunity to do that for our children and siblings on their birthday and our spouses on our anniversaries, it is the parents that we tend to leave out and in some cases our in-laws as well.

I am a firm believer in Father's and Mother's Day and that we need these days to tell them how much they matter to us.

On a lighter note, how about 'Maids Day'? :)

Day 74 - Death

Quite a morbid word to write a post on, isn't it? But the fact of death hit home in a different manner today. One of my closest friend's mother-in-law passed away last evening after a prolonged struggle. I was speaking to him a few days back on the topic and we started discussing about what is the best way to die. Death, after all, is the only certainity of life. Do what you may, the end result is defined and constant.

I've been fortunate not to see death at close quarters till now. My grandfather passed away a few years back and Gina passed away last year. The two were in absolute contrast to each other. My grandfather died in his sleep. He went to sleep one night and never woke up. He was old and had lived his life. Gina, on the other hand, died suddenly and has left a gap which is difficult to understand or fill. There was so much that she still had to accomplish.

What is more difficult or easy? Knowing when you are going to die or just passing away suddenly? After all from your perspective you are here one moment and not there the next. Should one think about oneself and be selfish or should one think about others when you dwell on this topic? Of course the discussion really is futile because you cannot control when Lord Yama or the Grim Reaper will come for you. But humor me!

I've always envied and loved the manner of my grandfather's passing. He went away peacefully and at the end of a fruitful life. I have often wondered if I could be so lucky when my time comes. Death after a prolonged struggle with disease saps you and your family of energy. The affected person wishes to pass away but life is something that you cannot give up easily even if its in pain. The final journey affects everyone but at the same time one does get to say one's good-byes, set things in order and thank your loved ones. One also gets time to do the things that one wanted to in life - the bucket list. But can these cancel out the suffering of the loved ones as they see you, bear you and comfort you in pain?

On the other hand a sudden passing is a blessing for oneself (I guess). No suffering, hopefully no pain. But it also leaves one's dreams and wished unfulfilled. One does not get to say goodbyes and tell the loved ones. One leaves an unexplained gap in the hearts and lives of the loved ones remaining behind. And the question that gets asked to God - Why? - has no answer. The loved ones remaining behind have to deal with that question and the gap for the rest of their lives. The sudden passing away of Ranjan Das, stories of how a relative went to play tennis or came back after a walk or went to the bathroom and passed away are related by people as lucky chances but always with a tinge of sadness that it was too sudden. Can the pain of the loved ones left behind balance the sudden passing away of the person?

Very difficult to answer or think about. I think my grandfather was lucky in that he lived his life, said his good byes across the later stage of his life and passed away peacefully. He must have done some good things in this or a previous life to be so lucky.

I wonder sometimes if I will be! Will you be?