The best cliche on friendship that I have heard says that if
you are true friends with someone then you should be able to pick off a
conversation where you last left it even if you meet the friend after many
years. I have always wondered if friendship should be measured on that
parameter at all! If you haven't been in touch with someone for a long time, is
that person really your friend? Don't you make an extra effort to stay in touch
with people who you care about - friends?
But
over the years I have experienced first hand the cliche as well. I usually go
for a long time without talking to some people but when I do connect, it's like
we never stopped talking. I find that very interesting and have come to realise
that it probably amounts to comfort with that person more than anything else.
You are comfortable in sharing your opinions, perspective and life events with
a few people and it doesn't matter if it is done daily or after a long time.
The only difference is that there is a lot of catching up to do in a short
time. But even that is fun - you get to know new things about the friend.
I
recently embarked upon one such 'catch-up' with part excitement and part
trepidation.
The
three of us had been great friends and inseparable in college - known as the
Three Musketeers in the final year. We roamed together, did our final project
together and banked on each other to pull us through with our studies. Like
every group we had the genius (Kaushal Mehta) , the late lateef (Shivraj Yadav)
and the average joe (yours truly). Post college we all stayed in touch
for some time but then life took us in separate paths and we started talking to
each other rarely at first and over birthdays and new years later. But the best
part was that it didn't seem to matter. Whenever we would touch base it would
be like old times. So we decided to meet and have a reunion in the year of our
40th birthday. We planned, we booked and we were on our way to meet up.
But
questions niggled at the back of my mind - as I am sure it did in theirs -
Would we be able to relate to each other? Would our thoughts and outlook to
life have changed dramatically? Are we being nostalgic and will we have to make
an effort to find the Three Musketeers of long gone age? Or would we 'live the
cliche'? This trip would test our friendship - make it stronger or break it
apart?
We
had all met with each other separately and had connected nicely but would we
connect again as a group? The aha moment for the trip started right at the
beginning - our late lateef was late to come to the airport itself arriving
almost at the last moment. In essence that set the tone for the reunion as we
realised that passage of years, receding hairline and increasing midsection
does not change the basic nature of people and different nature of friends
balances the group out perfectly.
As
we reached our destination, our intrinsic natures emerged and we were back to
college years. It was a revelation to know that while we remained the same, we
had changed as well. The Genius was just as well organised but had started to
open up and share his thoughts, The Late Lateef was just as disorganised and
late but was at a cross road with a serious issue and wanted support while The
Average Joe had become adventurous and was still giving unsolicited advice! The
three day trip turned out to be a re-connection and just made the bond
stronger. The risk was that it may not have gone that way and could have
strained the friendship.
I
would recommend everyone to 'make the trip' with your friends and test the
strands. It can make the bonds stronger.
I
have rediscovered my link and wavelength with Mehta and Shivraj. Guys, thanks
for being my friends and we should make the trips more often!!!
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