Men don't cry! A man with tears is a sign of weakness and men are supposed to be strong.
Or at least that's what has been told to us and taught to us over last few centuries by everyone in every form of communication - be it verbal, through ads or books. This, of course, not withstanding the metrosexual man. As a kid our fathers were our ultimate heroes and we grew up on a visual of them never having a tear in their eye.
There are certain images that stay in your mind long after they have occurred. Images that tend to define your visual interpretation of life and serve as guide for you. One such image stays in my mind to this day.
My first year engineering vacation had just got over and I was headed back from Dehradun to Pune. I was all of 18 years old and embarking for the first time on a long train journey all alone. I was pretty excited and looking forward to it. In those days one had to take a train from Dehradun to Delhi and then changeover at Delhi for a train to Pune. My Dad accompanied me to Delhi. I boarded the train to Pune at the Delhi station and settled in. My Dad checked who the companions were and told them to take care of me much to my acute embarrassment. Hey, I could take care of myself. As the train pulled away from the station and I waved good bye with a smile, I saw him with tears in his eyes waving back. I kept wondering why he was crying! I expected that of my mother who is very emotional but why was my dad crying?
Today I understand what he was going through on that day. As I watch my daughter grow up fast and a few years away from college, I fear my emotions on the day I wave goodbye to her when she goes. I know I will be scared if she will be safe away from the care of her family. I know I will be afraid if she will find success in her new chapter of life. I know I will be sad that she is breaking away from her cocoon and finding her own path. I know I will wonder if she will be able to manage the emotional rollercoster coming her way without the hugs from her mom and me comforting her. I know I will worry that as she flies away from the nest if she will be able to soar in the sky on strong wings. I know I will be very proud of her as she steps out to find her own identity.
Today I know that my Dad was going through all those emotions as he waved goodbye. Today I wonder how he dealt with them as he took the long lonely train journey back from Delhi to Dehradun. Today I cherish and value the image of my father's tears because I know that in that moment he was showing all his love for me!
Thanks, Dad for letting me go my own way, for supporting me always, for letting me make my own mistakes and learn from them. I hope I can do the same for my kids.
Or at least that's what has been told to us and taught to us over last few centuries by everyone in every form of communication - be it verbal, through ads or books. This, of course, not withstanding the metrosexual man. As a kid our fathers were our ultimate heroes and we grew up on a visual of them never having a tear in their eye.
There are certain images that stay in your mind long after they have occurred. Images that tend to define your visual interpretation of life and serve as guide for you. One such image stays in my mind to this day.
My first year engineering vacation had just got over and I was headed back from Dehradun to Pune. I was all of 18 years old and embarking for the first time on a long train journey all alone. I was pretty excited and looking forward to it. In those days one had to take a train from Dehradun to Delhi and then changeover at Delhi for a train to Pune. My Dad accompanied me to Delhi. I boarded the train to Pune at the Delhi station and settled in. My Dad checked who the companions were and told them to take care of me much to my acute embarrassment. Hey, I could take care of myself. As the train pulled away from the station and I waved good bye with a smile, I saw him with tears in his eyes waving back. I kept wondering why he was crying! I expected that of my mother who is very emotional but why was my dad crying?
Today I understand what he was going through on that day. As I watch my daughter grow up fast and a few years away from college, I fear my emotions on the day I wave goodbye to her when she goes. I know I will be scared if she will be safe away from the care of her family. I know I will be afraid if she will find success in her new chapter of life. I know I will be sad that she is breaking away from her cocoon and finding her own path. I know I will wonder if she will be able to manage the emotional rollercoster coming her way without the hugs from her mom and me comforting her. I know I will worry that as she flies away from the nest if she will be able to soar in the sky on strong wings. I know I will be very proud of her as she steps out to find her own identity.
Today I know that my Dad was going through all those emotions as he waved goodbye. Today I wonder how he dealt with them as he took the long lonely train journey back from Delhi to Dehradun. Today I cherish and value the image of my father's tears because I know that in that moment he was showing all his love for me!
Thanks, Dad for letting me go my own way, for supporting me always, for letting me make my own mistakes and learn from them. I hope I can do the same for my kids.
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Thank you my son -remembering the emotive days of Father-son relations.
ReplyDeleteThat is how parents are in this world- an unwritten law of Nature/God. We Love you