Day 61 - Being judgemental

Do you take people at face value or do you judge them when you meet them? The answer to this question is a pretty tricky one. You would love to say that you take everyone at face value but in reality you end up judging every single thing they say. A different way to ask would be "Are you a good judge of people?" and I'm sure the answer to that from most of you would be 'Yes'.

But reality lies somewhere in between. As humans it is the easiest thing to do to judge people, their actions and their words. We judge people at all times in different ways. We judge according to status - our servants are always 'kaamchor' while we are not; we judge by religion; we judge by ethnicity - Americans are different than us or Europeans are different; we judge by clothes - a badly dressed person is somehow not as good as a well dressed one even if the opposite is true. How many times have you looked at a shabbily dressed person and thought that he is probably less educated than you or the well dressed person next to him? Many times or maybe always. As I once heard someone day "Even when you don't care, others judge you on your appearance" and how many times have we heard the saying "Clothes make a man".

It is very easy to pass judgment on someone without knowing any details of why the person acted that way or said those things. We all do it. When a friend comes to us and says things about their boss or another person, we judge them and form a perception in our minds. When we hear about someone getting angry or smashing things or a celebrity lashing out at a photographer or a friend, we judge them and form opinions without trying to find out why they did what they did. If our friend comes and tells us that they are breaking up with their partner we automatically assume that the partner must be in the wrong. We form a judgment without knowing the truth.

And therein lies the issue in our lives. We form a judgement about people without knowing the facts. This impacts not just our personal lives but also gets into our professional lives. We form a judgement about our peers, our boss and our colleagues. We forget that unless you are in the same situation as the other person you cannot decide what is a right or a wrong decision and hence have no right to form an opinion about the situation or the person. Every time you try to form an opinion or a judgement ask yourself what you would do in the same situation. If your answer is that you don't know or you have insufficient data, stop there and don't form an opinion about the person. Don't judge!

Being non-judgemental and living by the credo 'to each his own' makes living that much easier. Is it easy? Definitely not. Being judgemental is in our DNA but try it for some situations. It might help you!