Day 58 - Age and Sexuality

When you think of sex and sexuality what comes to your mind. Most of us would think of a taut young body with a good figure and assets (if you are a guy) or six pack abs and muscles (if you are a gal). Most of us - of course it could work the other way as well but the point is that sex and sexuality brings to mind images of young bodies. And why is that? Why is it that sexuality is always associated with the young? Why is it that as we grow older we are supposed to give up our physical needs and focus more on spiritual ones?

I was browsing through my friend Arundhati Ghosh's facebook profile when I came across this beautiful note from one of her friends which in turn connected me to the work of the photographer -Karen Brett . (Wow....this is like pealing onions - one layer leads to another till you reach the core). And this got me thinking along the above lines.

How many of us are cringing as we even read this? Or cringed when we saw the photos? How many of us are thinking that love and sex is meant for the young and the middle-aged, definitely not for my parents and God forbid - my grand parents. They should be concentrating on God and the metaphysical aspects than the physical ones. We have been conditioned from our childhood that love is meant for the young at heart. Sex, after all, is the physical representation of love and hence that too is for the young. We have seen this around us and have grown up on this staple diet of information. We have never seen our grand parents show their love in front of us and have watched movies where the couple - after they have become parents - hide their physical manifestation of love by saying "Bacche dekh lenge to kya sochenge?". So it is but natural that we shy away from the very thought of old people falling in love or showing their love. Even our movies don't focus on this aspect.

The closest I think that our movies have approached this subject is the Rishi Kapoor - Dimple Kapadia starrer "Pyar Mein Twist" which shows them falling in love but even that movie shied away from showing any physical manifestation of it. 'Cheeni Kum'came closest to showing it. Do you remember the scene where Tabu makes AB run across the park and come back so that she can find out about his stamina? He then drags her almost into a hotel saying let me show you my stamina. When you realise the implication of that scene.....do you cringe and thank God that they did not show them going into a hotel room? Why shouldn't they? After all, they are in love and will want to express their love to each other?

I think we need to be a bit more broad minded when we see an old couple holding hands and/or expressing their love for each other. Love is an emotion that can strike anyone at any time. It does not look for colour, caste, creed, nationality or age. If we are willing to accept that an old man can fall in love with a young woman or vice-versa, we need to accept the fact that two old people can fall in love with each other as well and would want to express that love as well.

Lets all grow up and accept that. Who knows you fall in love at 80 and want to express that love to her or him! Teach your children now that its OK for old people to fall in love as well!