Love is such a heady emotion and both men and women get carried away in it. It can play tricks with even the most stable mind and make them behave like nuts. :)
Conventional wisdom says that in love a woman is more sentimental and emotional than a man. It also says that when in love the woman becomes indecisive or takes a back seat or will not make the first move - as compared to a man.
I think that is exactly what it is - conventional wisdom - and it is completely wrong!
The best way to find out if a man is truly in love is to see how indecisive he becomes when it comes to THE woman. At any other time the man will be in control of his emotions and actions. When he is flirting with a woman or just wants to get into her pants or is not that serious about the woman, he is in control and knows what he is doing. He does not mind taking the initiative since he knows that if he gets rejected it wasn't serious anyway and there are more women out there.
But change the situation and see the difference. If the man is really and truly in love with the woman, he becomes a completely different character. The fear of rejection or making a fool of himself or not appearing to be a proper correct person for her drives him nuts. He can't take a right decision and forever wonders which is the right way to take.
He starts thinking about what would make HER happy and loses his way and sense of thinking. He starts wondering that if I say something and she gets angry, then what do I do. Better not make her angry since I can't afford to lose her. He tries to live up to her expectations of him and sometimes forgets to be himself. The woman can really control him then and I think every woman knows that.
When truly in love - a man is not a man! (If you know what I mean). When truly in love, its the man who is on the backfoot.
Woman of the world.....that's the key. Forget all the cosmo quizzes and all the tests.
Good News: If the man you are dating is indecisive and more concerned about you; if you can sense that he is truly afraid of losing you; if he ensures that you are truly happy with small gestures - then he's in love with you. Watch out for those signs!
Bad News: That does not last forever. It only lasts till you get married to him. Post that he reverts back to his actual self!
More about the post-marraige man in a different blogpost.
;-)
Posts
Zero Day
-
I haven't read a lot of David Baldacci books and neither am I a huge reader
of mystery thrillers from the new fleet of writers as you may have gauged
from...
Very interesring, that too coming from a man. Am not sure of men getting indecisive, i think they are mostly indecisive , in general...ask them where they want to go for dinner and phat comes the answer, wherever you want to! Saves them the trouble of making a decision and thinking:-)
ReplyDeleteHave noticed the same with married men, they are never sure if they want to have children, the indecisiveness continues until it happens and then there is no going back ...so acc to my observations and perception, men and indecisiveness (atleast in realtionships) go hand in hand, irrespective of the love quotient.
Rashmi
:) that's said like a true woman!
ReplyDeleteThe main reason for our indecisiveness in generic decision is because we don't want to make our woman 'upset'. We know (or assume) that the woman has already made up her mind when she asks a question - Do you want to go out for dinner? Either she's made up her mind she wants to go out and so the answer should be 'Yes' or she's thinking I don't want to but maybe he does so let me ask and so the right answer is 'No'. The man does not know so he takes the easy way out - whatever you want.
Our main issue is communication in that we tend not to say what we want but think of what the other person might want! :)
On kids - I will only say that a man typically knows when he is ready to be a dad and then its a no-brainer after that. Before that he does not know if he'll be a good father. Having said that there really is no RIGHT time to have kids. Its on-the-job learning!