Day 13 - What are you afraid of?

Its an interesting thought that philosophical questions like this seem to have different answers across the years. When asked at a particular point in life the answer seems to reflect the deepest insecurities at that point. And these change with time.

I asked this question to a few friends recently and the answers varied from person to person. My closest friend was worried about growing old. She is a very health conscious lady and takes care of herself immaculately. She's extremely paranoid about putting on weight and is very focused on calories, oil, exercise and such stuff. I guess her fear comes from the fact that she thinks she will loose control on herself as she grows old. I think the interesting fact is that she will grow old gracefully and will live a long life because she is taking care of herself so well right now. Interesting, isn't it? She fears growing old but she will live long. My perspective anyway. While people like me who don't fear growing old will probably die before her.

Which brings me to.......well, me! :) What am I afraid of?

About 25 years back I was afraid of losing my parents and would have nightmares about it. What if I lost them in an accident? What would I do then?

About 15 years back I was afraid of my career going nowhere. I was drifting from one job to next as I could not see a stable career ahead of me. I then joined Times School of Marketing, fell in love, followed her to Bangalore and things changes for the better.

Today, I am most afraid of a premature death! Morbid, isn't it? But if my children read this sometime in the future they will know. Today I am most afraid that I will leave my family too soon. Things (touchwood) seem to be stable and I have a wonderful family. Today I want to be able to see that to its logical conclusion. I want to see my kids happy and settled. I want to see my kids married and having their children. I want to see my grand kids and play with them. I want to see my wife living a happy life. I want to be there to guide my children and help them along the way. I want to be with my friends and see them happy. I want to see them living their lives to a logical end. I want to grow old with my family and friends.

This is my fear today. I guess I should re-visit this question a couple of years later and answer it again. Maybe things would have changed by then.

Of course in between all these I am still afraid of flying insects and very afraid of losing friends and love!

What are you afraid of?