DAY 5: To tell or not to tell!

I read a beautiful story from Haruki Murakami last night called 'Honey Pie'. Its part of his 'After the Quake' collection and it really got me thinking. He's a fabulous author, by the way, but that's a different blog.

I also started linking the premise of the story to so many triangular love story movies that I had seen in Hollywood, Bollywood, Tollywood and all the other 'alphabet'-ollywood's and that lead to the question of the post today.

To tell or not to tell?

I'm sure you're asking...BUT WHAT? :)

Murakami's story talks about a group of three friends - a girl and two guys. The two guys are as opposite as chalk and cheese (where did that expression come from? Must find out). One is a extrovert, boisterous, fun loving guy while the other is a soft spoken, introvert, happy with himself kind of guy. Guess who gets the girl? The first one, of course and that's because he tells the girl about his feelings. The other bloke loves the girl as well but never tells her.

To tell or not to tell?

I believe in telling. If you like someone, if you love someone just let them know. The reasons for not telling are well documented and I don't need to talk about that - fear of rejection, becoming a laughing stock etc etc.

I want to talk about a different scenario. What if you positively know that the other person - your friend - does not love you? Do you still tell? What if the person and their presence in your life is more important than your 'feelings' for them. Do you still tell?

Now it gets interesting,doesn't it?

So then the fear comes in that if we tell them and they don't like it, they'll leave and we'll lose even the friendship. Sometimes that makes sense. But I think its better to let them know. And let the person know early on. If the person understands and accepts, they will be a better friend because they know how you feel about them. If they don't you will mope for a few days and come out stronger.

But the counter argument to that is, what's the use if she/he is still my friend, knows that I love her/him but the feeling is not returned? Now its a case of permanent frustration. At least earlier I had hope, now I don't even have that. That's a true assessment I'm afraid but I think that's where the maturity of love comes in. And this may sound as cliched as the typical Bollywood sob story, but is your love 'pure' enough that you would rather see the person happy than sad? Then you just love the person and forget about the reciprocation! Love like a child!

If you are a parent, you'll understand. Your child loves you unconditionally and expects nothing in return - at least till he/she is 3 or 4! :) You scold them, you shout at them but after sometime they come to you with a smile and you forget why you were angry at them. Their eyes show unconditional love. Go back to that time and learn to love like a child.

Loving a friend is loving like a child! Don't have any expectations from that person. You just make sure that your love makes the person happy! Is it easy? Hell no! But I think its worthwhile.

So go out today and tell your friend that you love her/him and leave the rest to destiny!

Guru Kaushal-ananda has spoken! May the force be with you!