Day 8: Effect Statements

I've always been interested in 'Effect Statements' and obviously on the effect that these statements have on people. That's an interesting statement, isn't it? :)

But what are these 'effect statements' that I am talking about.

As humans we communicate and let the other person know our thoughts. Most of our communication is harmless and generic in nature. However, as we grow older some amount of selfishness crops into our communication. We communicate to extract something from others in terms of material things or emotions. This could be to our friends, girl/boy friend, parents, spouses, bosses, colleagues and almost everybody.

There are times when we make certain statements to people that we don't mean but we hope that they'll mean a lot to the other person and help us get what we want. That's an Effect Statement!! Still confusing?

Have you ever told a girl that you love her without meaning it but hoping that she would feel good and maybe give you the emotional and physical touch that you want? That's an effect statement. You really don't love her and don't mean it at all but you hope that the girl likes what she hears, believes that you love her and 'melts' in your arms!

Have you ever been told that you are a very kind person by someone and then realised that you ended up giving a large donation by your standards? Or have you been congratulated by everyone in office and then proceeded to give a party for that? Then you may have fallen prey to the 'effect statements'. Neither of them meant those statements but were able to extract what they wanted - a donation or a tip or a party or something to that extent.

Effect statements when made for small materialistic gains may not be that dangerous - a party, some money.

But when the same statements are made for emotional gains, the repercussions can be long lasting and dangerous. A girl thinks that the boy loves her and has an intimate relation with him only to realise that he never meant any of that. A parent tells their kid that you can marry her/him over their dead body and put a stop to something that can make the kid happy. A friend tells you that he/she is your best-est friend and then goes on to bitch about you to the whole world. These can be dangerous effect statements.

Learn to know when a statement is an effect statement and when it is the truth. My solution is look at the eyes and body language of the person. A sincere statement will almost always be delivered with eye contact and with confidence.

Always protect yourself against these 'effect statements' and the people who make them.