Sunday, October 11, 2009

Day 46 - Selfless Love

Is it possible to experience or give absolutely selfless love? Have you realised that when you love someone it usually translates into certain expectations from that person as well. These could be simple things like picking up your phone when you call or talking to you when there is time, to more emphatic ones like falling in love with you too or liking you as much or doing things the way you want to.

Most of the time our love is a selfish one. We want the same emotions or the same experiences in return from the person we love. We have certain expectations and we want them fulfilled. If we don't get that, we get angry, frustrated, dejected, rejected and depressed. Mostly we forget to think from the other person's perspective and we think only from ours.

There are very few examples of selfless love and one that comes to my mind immediately is that of Mother Teresa. I have often wondered what made her come to India and spent her entire life in the care of the needy. Yes, I know...countless books have been written about it and innumerable philosophers and psychiatrists have given their explanations but what started her on her journey and made her do it? I guess she has the answer and we may never know.

Is there any time in your life that you will experience selfless love? I think there is. The only experience of absolute and complete selfless love with no expectations is the love of a child for the parent in the initial years. Note that I say - in the initial years - because as the child grows older and learns the 'tricks of life', the child too starts having expectations and sets boundaries for the level of love to be given to the parent.

But in the initial years the innocence of the child is so pure that the love of the child is an absolute joy. As a parent when you come home and see the innocent smile of the child, it washes away all your fatigue. Yes, I know this is so cliched but unfortunately it is also so true. Only as a parent can you experience this love in life. And when the same child cries in pain, it wrenches your heart out and you will do anything to get that smile back on the face. The child has no expectations from you and loves you for what you are, who you are and whatever you do to the child. You scold the child, shout at the child but the very next moment there is a smile and you forget everything and apologise.

Selfless love is like a gift from God which comes to you only through the smile and emotions of a child. Don't forget it and revel in these moments of pure innocent love for they will never come again.

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