Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Day 50 - Expectations

The core reason for all the 'issues' in the world is one simple word - EXPECTATIONS!

Think about it, dwell on it a bit and you will realise that all your worries, frustrations and anger stem from the simple truth that you 'expect' certain things to happen. Newton had said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That law holds true in the physical world. In the emotional world you can add a small word to this law and it becomes 'With every action, one expects a suitable reaction'.

Things become much clearer when you think about it. When you something you expect a certain reaction to that action. If the reaction is met you are happy and you process to the next action. If the reaction is not suitable or something that you did not expect it gives rise to frustration, distress and anger leading to a different set of actions. This is true from global issues to simple issues at home. Confused?

When India extends an olive branch to Pakistan, it hopes and expects that at least this time Pakistan will react favorably. The expectation is set. But when Pakistan attacks the Parliament we realise that our expectations are not met. As a country we get frustrated and angry and launch an offensive stance on the borders. The cycle repeats again and again but we hope that our expectations with every activity are met by them. Extend this to any conflict in the world and the core of the issues are certain expectations of each party. Simple? You bet it is.

The same hold true in your daily life as well. When you give a gift to some friend, you expect a certain reaction - surprise, happiness. If you get that you feel happy that your gift was liked, even if the reaction was not true. But if you don't get the expected reaction, you feel as if the gift was useless and the friend does not appreciate you. Even if the friend liked the gift but did not react in the way you expected. Expectations! When you say something to your loved one, you expect them to react in a particular way or with a certain statement. True, isn't it? The more you think about it the more it seems true and so simple.

The key is to live life without expectations. Is it possible? Not really but one can try. In your next few actions try not to set an expectation to them. Try to do the action without having a set reaction that you want. I assure you that you will be happy with whatever you get after that. If you say that you love someone, don't expect them to gush over it, go ga-ga or say that they love you back. Just say the words and be happy that you said them. If you buy a gift for someone, don't expect a thanks. If it comes it a bonus, if it doesn't you will be happy as you never expected it anyway.

Try it and let me know if it makes you happier. Send me comments.

Don't set any expectations in life or in other words - Karma karo, phal ki apeksha mat karo - do you work, don't focus on the results!

2 comments:

  1. I was going to comment, but then realized that by doing so, I was going to meet your expectations. Hence- no, comments!

    ReplyDelete