Day 21 - Will I love my second child as much as my first child?

Its a question that many parents think about subconsciously when they are expecting their second child. More true if there has been a fair gap (3-5 years or more) between the first child and the coming of the second child.

With your first child you have devoted your time, attention, love and affections completely on him/her. You have grown with the child and experienced the world for the first time through its eyes. You have learned new words and new ways of saying the same words with the first born. You have fallen in love all over again and the child is the center of your being. Even your spouse comes a far third to the child.

Now you are expecting a second child and while there is a happiness in the fact that your first born will have a sibling, there is also a constant question if you will love your second child as much as you did your first. You think that you have already experienced all the joys of parenthood in terms of showering affection, seeing new things and hearing new sounds through the first child. Will I be able to re-experience the same things again and have the same exhilaration when the second one does all this again?

I had that question! Ipsi was 4 when Ani was expecting again and while I was happy, I had this constant fear in my mind. I loved Ipsi to the core. Like all parents, I though she was the cutest, most beautiful and most smart child I had ever seen. I was worried if I would have the same strong feelings for my second child. I did not want to be a parent who distinguishes between the love for their two children. I did not want to be the one who loves the first born more than the second and tries hard to hide those feelings. And I was afraid.

To all those who go through the same feelings.........Relax!

The miracle of birth takes care of all that. The moment I laid eyes on my son, I knew that the cycle had started again. As the child grows older you experience the same feelings that you did the first time. In fact they are different than the first time. As everyone says (and we rarely believe it) each child is different from the next one. And that comes out so evidently when you have two children. The second child does things dramatically different from the first one and you experience the same fun, happiness, pride, joy and love for the second child.

My son does things that my daughter never did and vice-versa. Tarush climbs on audio speakers, tables, plays with cars, breaks things, wants to play with switches and so many things that Ipsi never did. Ipsi was silent, loved to play with her dolls and her fantasies, loved fairy tales and long hair. She still does actually.

The fun is that the two children bond with each other so well and that sight brings joy to your heart. More details in my other blog on Day 16

Today I can proudly say that my fear was unfounded and I love both my children very much. In fact because I am re-living the discovery phase with my son again, my first born might complain at times that I love my second born more than her!!!

Different Problem........different blog! :)