Day 27 - Not family but FAMILY

We celebrated my father-in-law's (FIL)75th birthday yesterday at home with a surprise party for him. My wife's sister and her family is down as well and so for my father-in-law it was his entire family at one place.

But the interesting part is that we also invited 5 families to this do. None of these are family to my FIL in the strictest sense. They are not related at all and neither are their parents or their ancestors in any way to my FIL or his family. My FIL knew their parents or them when he came to Bangalore from US more than 40 years back. They formed a friendship that has lasted from their generation to the next and has continued onwards.

And that is the interesting part. These five families are not FAMILY but sometimes more than that in the real sense. The families are a support system to him and his family over the years. The kids (my wife and sister-in-law) have grown up with this support system that has contributed a lot on their lives, in their values and in their upbringing. The families bond close together and have always been there for each other. This is the extended family that every family must have.

I am envious in a way of them. How many friendships convert into extended families in your life? How many friends can you call as your extended family who will do anything for you? Who will be available for you when you need them? And for whom you will do anything as well? The key is to have such a friendship that is reciprocatory in nature and you know you can back on. Many family friendships are one-way in the sense that either we feel special for the other family or they for us and it is not mutual. Very rarely do you come across family friends that have mutual affection.

Remember again that as a family you are bound together and so you love them and hate them but do compromises to get along with them. With your family there will be good times and bad times but because they are family you will invest to make it work.

With friendships that become an extended family, it requires a lot of trust, of affection, or respect, of work, of time and mostly of love of all the quirks and good things to make it work. You have to accept the friend in their good times and bad and they have to accept you. Your secrets are mutually known and your faults are mutually accepted. Your opinions are mutually respected and loved. You, like the other family, should be willing to make an effort if things do not go your way.

The key word is MUTUAL.

Its important to have this extended family as a support system. Sometimes this extended family supports you more or are closer and help you more than your actual family.

We (the Veluris) have two families that we call our extended family.

Do you have one?